Poor August is a month without a national holiday. How I loathe thee and thine heat which shineth down uponeth me with unrelenting force and passion. Can I get a “That’s what she said?”
Anyways, as many of you know SageRock celebrates one holiday off every month and for August we’ve decided to celebrate Bad Poetry Day. Technically it’s on the 18th but since we also like 3 day weekends, we’re actually taking off the Day Before Bad Poetry Day… with a catch.
Everyone who wanted the day off had to submit a bad poem. That’s it. Submit a bad poem, get the day off. Submit anything more or less and you’ve got to show up and put in your time. Below are this years submissions from SageRock.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Having to write a bad poem sucks
Don’t you think too?
SEO is fun,
Like a day in the sun.Paid search is great,
It causes good fate.Social media will take you places,
To meet a bunch of new faces.Usability testing is the way,
Almost all SEO’s say.Analytics is about tracking,
So don’t be caught slacking.SageRock’s been around since 1999,
We are better than “just fine.”
Sleeping in til noon
No dogs barking in my ears
Unicorns taste good
Money hates love.
Money hates your family.
Money hates your friends.
Money hates the sick and in need.
Money hates you.You aren’t strong enough for money.
You aren’t smart enough for money.
You aren’t good enough for money.
You aren’t enough of a raped slave bowing down to the alter of the
shit hovel money lives in.Money always wants more and more is never enough.
And for that money, I hate you.
O! what wild movements course through this air
Unseen fierce currents may motivate
Mountains to hills, statues to dust, dust to existence.
But where ever these winds wander,
Whether their home is found along the shores
Surrounding strange lands, tousling strange nature,
Ever will it insist on its own path,
Carving it into stone as though it were sand.
There once was an SEO from Akron
and he would say fine if you asked him
“How goes your day?”
“Fine,” he would say.
But we already covered that, pay attention.
Original photo Super Atari Poetry by Nadya Peek.
Most recent posts by Greg Habermann
- University of Akron Google Analytics Class - September 21st, 2011
- TubeMogul: Tracking Your Videos Across Multiple Sites - January 13th, 2011
- YouTube Insight - Advanced Techniques with Online Video Analytics - January 4th, 2011
- Get Started with YouTube Insight – Online Video Analytics - December 23rd, 2010
- Getting Started with Online Video Analytics - December 16th, 2010
Those are brilliant poems! Nice job everybody.
Ode to an Onion Sucker
I saw you yesterday morning
By the onion bin
You were sucking on an onion
Don’t lie, I saw you
You had that onion in your mouth
And you were going wild
You can deny it all you want
But smell your breath, you fool